Have you noticed how much the dynamics of relationships between men and women have changed nowadays? First of all, to get to know a woman, you no longer need to observe her for a whole year. You can do it in three days thanks to the digital exhibitionism of social networks.
The New Definition of Infidelity
Due to digitalization, the concept of infidelity has also changed. In several U.S. states, intimate messaging and exchanging explicit photos are considered proof of cheating. Online sex has become commonplace for many people—just watch Big Little Lies.
Yes, women now have more rights and opportunities than ever before in human history. Fewer restrictions and more opportunities for self-realization. Yet, men’s interest in women tends to last a much shorter time. Keeping their attention has become genuinely difficult. Men, who are naturally hunters, today got an endless digital fields for their pursuits.
A woman’s task in this environment is to keep a man’s focus on her, despite the oversupply in the market of human emotions. This has nothing to do with the era of feminism. Technology is to blame, but humanity is hardly ready to return to Victorian morals at the cost of giving up modern services and conveniences.
Men of the new era have become weaker and fussier. It’s hard to compete with thousands of other women based on looks alone—substance is required. And that’s much more complicated because it requires effort, time, and self-development.
Short-Term Tricks vs. Long-Term Love
You could make a whole list of female pickup tricks and tips. Most likely, they’d even work—at least in the short term.
Yes, it is possible to make someone fall for you. A couple of NLP techniques, certain behavior in bed, a methodical hot-and-cold approach, a little manipulation, and you’ll drive the guy crazy.
In this case falling in love is madness. But I don’t want to dive into that. Because of several reasons: infatuation is not love, the tactics of “making someone fall for you” are a cheap trick, and emotional manipulation is dishonest.
In my experience, a man’s good attitude towards a woman is built on three pillars. This is what you are really looking for. This is what you actually want when you ask me for the secret to a happy relationship.
For me, it’s simple. Infatuation. People fall in love with special women. Those who feel their uniqueness, are aware of their distinctive qualities, and love themselves—flaws included. Truly love, not just in words.
Care
Men care for women who can take care of themselves. It’s a paradox! And yet, they also care for those who aren’t afraid to articulate their needs, but who don’t make a habit of nagging their loved ones or constantly complaining.
The Three Pillars of a Good Relationship: Infatuation, Care, and Respect
Men respect women who respect themselves. Women who know what they want out of life, relationships, themselves, and the future. Women who have goals, moral standards, and principles.
Unfortunately, there’s no universal formula. Different men love, care for, and respect different women—each of us is looking for a unique person who will become our one and only.
The secret to harmonious, ideal, beautiful relationships lies in balance of several areas at once.
Balancing Emotions in a Relationship
In a relationship, you need to be on the same emotional wavelength. If you’re cold, indifferent, and rational while your partner is reckless, impulsive, and uncontrollable, life together will be difficult. The honeymoon phase will smooth over your differences, but what happens in the long run?
Importance of Physical Intimacy
You can tell yourself and others as much as you want that physical connection isn’t that important. But if you don’t feel each other on a physical level even at the beginning of the relationship, it’s unlikely that you’ll develop something deep and serious.
You need to know and love your body to understand what you need. And you need to feel your partner’s body—to understand what they need. This is the secret to relationships that remain strong for years to come.
Intellectual Connection and Shared Goals
If you have grand plans for life and your partner doesn’t need anything from the world, it’s unlikely you’ll be able to stay together. Strong intellectual connection is vital in a relationship because it’s the foundation of your future.
The Role of Empathy in Lasting Relationships
What if your partner is indifferent and detached, while you can’t pass by someone who needs help—even a stranger? It will be tough. Yes, you can negotiate. You can clarify boundaries. But if you have fundamentally different views on the world and its problems, it will be difficult to stay together.
Moreover, the level of empathy also affects the relationship within the couple. Personally, I find it natural to consult with my partner on everything, to respond to the slightest changes in his mood, and to encourage him. And I expect the same in return.
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